I may choose to ignore people who comment anonymously. I choose never to be anonymous online myself. I have little tolerance for this behavior.

Friday, May 2, 2014

Paunchy, Balding, Near-sighted and Thoroughly Normal...

I hesitate to bring this up, but not because I'm afraid of the subject.

I am afraid to use the term. If I use it this post won't come up on Google searches, if the SafeSearch feature is turned on, like it is on my computer.

Okay, then veiled references will have to do.

Are Mormon women unduly conscious of their physical appearance and taking serious steps to augment it?

Yikes! I've given it away.

Okay, perhaps I need to take another brave step into the unknown and admit that I am highly disturbed by... the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

You may not think these topics are related, but they are. The women in Choir look, forgive me, fake. It is difficult to find even a handful of women that:

  • Have not obviously dyed their hair.
  • Do not have excessive makeup, especially eye makeup.
  • Do not appear to have had face lifts.
  • Are not obviously trying to look younger than they are.

High definition television is revealing and the above have bothered me for some time. The men look okay. They look like men -- paunchy, balding, near-sighted and thoroughly normal.

I hadn't thought to conduct my physical evaluation of female Choir participants below neck level.

Utah is my home state and I will always love it, but I think people there are preoccupied with looks, especially the women.

When I headed east to pursue education, I was astonished at the couples I saw on campus. I thought to myself, "That girl wouldn't be able to get a date in Utah. She's not cute enough."

I also learned something else. Women in locales with higher humidity cannot cover all their blemishes with makeup. They would melt.

It is easy to look good in Utah. The dry air preserves makeup and hair styles. These are battles I lost in other states. With my age and ill-health, I have given up entirely. However, I could still, um, augment myself in other ways...

Is this...augmentation... actually common in Mormondom? Do I really want an answer? The evidence cited in the article is persuasive. Also, a significant other, who shall remain nameless, thought it was common in Mormondom, long before he met me. Should I have known this? After all, I lived in the state for many many years.

It is only with the rationale found at the bottom of the article that my brain can even entertain the possibility as plausible. Are Mormon women trying to repair what child bearing has done to their bodies? That, I can accept, even if I don't like it.

I worked on my brain when I was younger. I knew that what looks I had would eventually fade and I would need something else to rely on. My body managed to escape child bearing but not necessarily by choice.

What's wrong with looking as natural as the men? What's wrong with other Mormon women looking like me -- paunchy, balding, near-sighted and thoroughly normal?

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