I may choose to ignore anonymous comments. I consider this type of anonymity dishonest. Also, I don't post regularly. I post when I have something worth writing and something worth reading. I explain all this in: Don't Let Telling Tales Trip Up Your Truthfulness.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Capernaum Cuneiform Chronicle
Vol. 1 Issue #1
45 A.D.


Welcome to the first issue of the Capernaum 7th Ward Newsletter. We will be issuing this newsletter every month. We will leave extra clay tablet copies in the clerk's office. So, please enjoy the news from our ward. If there is something you would like included in the next issue, please let Sister Tabitha know before the last four days of the month.

Bishopric Message

We want to let each and every one of you know how much we love each and every one of you. As brothers and sisters in Christ we know that this life includes many challenges. We want you to know that we are there for you. Your trials will make you stronger. We must endure many things and endure to the end. Please know that you are always in our thoughts and in our prayers. Trials and tribulations come, but we must endure. The Lord will help strengthen you and help you bear whatever this life has in store for you.

Bethlehem Excursion for the Youth

Brother Bartholomew and Sister Sapphira want us to let you know that this is a Bethlehem year! We will be taking the youth to see all the sites in Bethlehem. This is for all youth ages 12 to 18. We will be renting a caravan and drivers for this years event. It will be a whirlwind two days. We will see all the sites we can fit in. Those of you who have been on this trip before know what a special experience it is. The Capernaum Stake is graciously devoting 1/3 of its entire year's budget to this trip. Don't miss out. It is a once in a lifetime experience!

Solace Society Activity for the Sisters

Mark your calendars for the third day of the seventh month. The sisters will be decorating oil lamps. Sister Anna will be showing us how to personalize our lamps in perfect cuneiform, by using special clay from the Dead Sea. Please bring your favorite unleavened bread and its recipe. Sister Deborah will be in charge of drawing water from the well for this activity. Let her know if you can help. Let Sister Delilah know if you need a ride. She has an extra camel. Contact Sister Susanna if you need more information. A nursery will be provided.


Let Brothers Barnabas and David know if you did not receive your offerings statement for last year. Tax time comes soon and we don't want to give any more business to the publicans than we have to.


(Capernaum 7th Ward Grapevine)

"Oh, I loved going on the Bethlehem Activity. It was so special!" Sis. Drusilla

"Why are we still using clay tablets? The whole world is using papyrus, especially the youth. We could send out the newsletter effortlessly, if we just used the papyrus the Church provides. This is so silly." Bro. Eleazar

"I agree with Bro. Eleazar; we shouldn't resist technology if we can further the Lord's purposes with it. The youth have already set up their own information outlet on Facescroll. I know this is against guidelines because it isn't using the Church's system; but the kids know what they need and they are way ahead of all of us. In fact, they trade messages quickly amongst themselves by using the "pigeon papyrus" method. The messages have to be brief because the pigeons aren't that big." Elder Jachin

"Maybe we ought to rethink using that much money from the budget for one activity for one group of people. Is this really a good idea and what we should be doing?" Sis. Milka

"The Bethlehem Activity is a tradition. It was Bro. Reuel's idea and approved by Stake President Silas. That is good enough for me. It should be good enough for you." Sis. Zipporah

"I was simply questioning whether our funds and time could be better spent on other things. This seems to be largely a social event, even though it is to a sacred location. The Church wants us to confine our activities to our own boundaries and not place burdens on people. Also, it takes people away from their families and church leaders have told us that family time is sacred time." Sis. Milka

"There is nothing wrong with social activities. I think you need to check the Handbook. If we don't provide social activities the young will seek them elsewhere and probably in evil ways. We should support our church leaders. Remember you sustained them or have you forgotten? You shouldn't be trying to ruin a wonderful trip for the youth. You are always a wet blanket. I think you need an attitude check. Your nasty spirit isn't welcome!" Sis. Zipporah

"Sisters, perhaps we can just agree to disagree?" Sis. Dorcas

"I've had it with Sis. Milka. She just sows discord and disobedience everywhere she turns. She's a negative influence. Questioning leaders means she is on the "high road to apostasy." I don't want my child to ever have her as a teacher or leader. I don't want her in the Solace Society either. We need sisters who want to help not hurt. She's a terrible influence." Sis. Zipporah

"Please don't misunderstand me. Traditions can be nice, but shouldn't we always evaluate whether our time and resources ought to be used differently? We don't have a large budget and there are many worthy ways to spend it and our time. We are here to learn to make good choices. Surely we ought to continually evaluate what we do. Doesn't this make us moral beings?" Sis. Milka

"I resent your inference that we are immoral. You sound like a feminist intellectual we have all been warned against. YOU NEED TO REPENT!" Sis. Zipporah

"I'd be happy to help anyone learn how to use papyrus." Bro. Jachin

"Sister Milka's children don't have to go if she doesn't want them to. Everyone is free to make their own choices. That is what makes the gospel so wonderful!" Sister Damaris, Solace Society President, Sister Susanna and Sister Rhoda, Counselors.

"Papyrus is very easy to use. If people are reluctant, I'd be happy to to show them how it can be used to facilitate information dispersal." Bro. Jachin

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