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Friday, March 25, 2011

"Never shoot at anybody who shoots back" -- Mormon Revenge on Parker and Stone

The creators of "South Park" like to call themselves "equal-opportunity offenders," but if you think there's anything risky about "The Book of Mormon," you're kidding yourself. Making fun of Mormons in front of a Broadway crowd is like shooting trout in a demitasse cup. And while we're on the subject of imitation courage, let it be duly noted that if the title of this show were "The Quran," it wouldn't have opened. Messrs. Parker and Stone found that out the hard way a year ago when online death threats caused Comedy Central executives to censor an episode of "South Park" in which the Prophet Muhammad was shown wearing a bear costume. The boys have learned their lesson well: Never shoot at anybody who shoots back.
This Wall Street Journal review of The Book of Mormon Broadway musical seems to give us Mormons a back handed compliment. Mormons don't shoot back.


For much of our history this is true, although some of the victims of the Battle of Crooked River and Mountain Meadows Massacre wouldn't agree with that. Mormons took nearly everything aimed at them and simply went on being Mormons.


Well, at least they don't shoot back in the conventional way. There is something to be said for Mormons not exacting revenge in this life. Those of us who are truly saintly, love our enemies and wish them no ill will. Those of us less saintly, hope our persecutors get their comeuppance in the next life. But, you really have to believe in the next life in order to abstain from taking revenge in this one. And, you have to believe in a just God.


Mormons may even be able to turn mockery to their advantage.


But I can't imagine Parker and Stone being totally without fear. Will Mormons take revenge for this thinly disguised assault on scripture? Maybe not. Maybe we'll exact our own unique, Mormon revenge. Let's see . . . What could that be?


From a former post:
[Missouri Governor Lilburn] Boggs died a natural death although from what I've read over the years he was always fearful that the Mormons would exact revenge in kind.
They did in a way.
I dated a guy in my Utah singles ward who was a direct descendant of Boggs. Hunt down their posterity and convert them -- that's Mormon revenge. . .
What would be the modern day equivalent for Parker and Stone? They aren't dead yet. Maybe we could track down their ancestors and posthumously baptize them? We'd have to convert a living descendant that has the right to do that though. We can't just baptize them willy nilly.


Stationing Mormon Missionaries outside the Theater makes sense. People are going to think they are part of the show's publicity and strike up a chat. They may even be more apt to accept a copy of The Book of Mormon. Just what we need. . .


Maybe the Church could ramp up its coverage of how the Church is spreading in Africa, better yet, how it is spreading in Uganda. Wait a minute, they did that already.


Maybe Welfare Square could transport truckloads of green Jell-O to Parker and Stone. No, now I'm getting silly.

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